god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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