Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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