You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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