fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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