We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize