I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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