chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
