Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize