haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize