You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
