We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
