Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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