There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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