my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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