i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
