Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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