getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
