I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
