I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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