Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize