I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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