shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
