so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize