You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
