if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
