So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
