SEEEEXXX PLEASE
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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