remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
