When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
