If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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