It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
