Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize