I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize