I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
