his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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