we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
there was a trapeze. enough said
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I need to calm my uterus...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
