it hurts more in the daytime
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Even my vagina gasped.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
