farters have to be the big spoon...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
