What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize