We named our party play list daddy issues
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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