While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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