I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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