Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize