OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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