these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
