You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
