At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Come see our sink grown plant.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
