Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
