Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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