Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's blow job season.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
