Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
