Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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