Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
