we made out on top of his cat.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
