I wish life had little blips of pornography
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
