Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
