Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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