Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
