Can i not drive my cunt home
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
