Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
