yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
