i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
