Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
