he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
