somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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