Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize