So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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