she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
