Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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