the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
