If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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