it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
