I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
