i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
