i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
